sarah

crafts

2011-03-03T21:21:00.000-08:00

I found the most amazing craft blog ever today.

I wish I had more time to create like I used to...

I also wish I had cute babies to sew cute clothes for because the clothes on that website kill me. :)

I love how I swore to blog more...but my stupid blog is a fail. I like tumbler better anyways.

freshman

2011-01-20T21:27:00.000-08:00

I wish I could go back to my freshman year for just one day, so I could be friends with people I miss again. I wish I could be friends with the people they were- because the people they have become are so foreign to me and it breaks my heart. I wish that drugs and alcohol had never slipped into their lives and complicated things. I miss laying on warm concrete driveways on hot summer nights, feeling the rain pelt down on my skin as we laughed and talked about how we would never separate and be best friends for always. I want to bottle that innocence like sand in an hourglass and keep it for days like today, so I could give it back to her.

I was reading recently that love, true love is not loving people for who they were or who they can be, but for who they are presently, no matter if they ever change, change shouldn't even be in the lovers vocabulary. As I was thinking about why love tends to have an agenda, I thought that maybe its because we see love as an end point not a journey. We hope to eventually refine that person into someone worthy of our time and emotions, the end result being or twisted version of love. perfection.

Love isn't the end, it isn't perfection. It's wrong choices and hurt and heartache, it's giving and taking and using and learning and abuse, it's tears and hate and smiles, its drifting together and growing apart. Love is ebb and flow. Right now there are lots of situations and relationships where I really don't know what love is supposed to look like, I have been ignored and I have ignored. I have turned a blind eye to things that turned out to be a big deal because I was too bitter to care.

I want to love like my Jesus loved, even when it gets messy, even when I am tired and want to be alone, even when I will get nothing in return. I want a selfless, relentless love.

So as I sit here and think about the who my friends used to be, I can wish all I want that we could go back to the "good old days" and it wont happen, but even if my relationships could be magically restored, I don't know if I would want that, because I would learn nothing about Love, and that is what I really need most of all. I need to learn how to love with no reasons, with no rules, with no dreams of change.

all things new

2011-01-04T21:00:00.001-08:00

Ahhh, where to begin?!?

So much has been going on in my life, and one of my new years resolutions (yes, I like them, however corny and cheesy people paint them to be) is to blog on a regular basis...so...hey blog, long time no see.

I started cosmetology school and I love it, God has continually blessed me and clearly had His sovereign hand on this situation. I'm so so so lucky to wake up every morning and be able to enjoy His plan for my life.

I have an amazing boyfriend who means the world to me and takes the best care of me, Im sure he will be the highlight in many of my coming days. I'm so curious as to what the Lord has for us, and I absolutely cant wait to see where He takes us.

My friend Amanda had her new baby boy, Presley (worlds cutest baby, and 3rd baby born in 2011) and I got to visit them tonight which was SO fun and relaxing. It's always breathtaking to hold something so fresh and new, to look onto it and dream.

me enjoying some time with presley

Right now, Im praying that God would surround me with solid christian friends (girlfriends in particular) which is a huge request but is much needed....

Over the last week I've started assembling a book collection that I cant wait to feast my eyes and heart upon (seriously SO excited)....first one is about the beattitudes...which I figured is a great way to start off a new year...

Thats just a super quick, very shallow update.

- sarah

fickle and unfocused

2010-06-28T21:42:00.000-07:00

“If any of you are embarrassed over me and the way I’m leading you when you get around your fickle and unfocused friends, know that you’ll be an even greater embarrassment to the Son of Man when he arrives in all the splendor of God, his Father, with an army of the holy angels.”

-mark (surprise, surprise) 8:38

When I get around a certain group of people, an urge to satisfy my flesh arises in me. I begin to gossip, make dirty jokes, laugh at things that break Gods heart, and basically disregard the Holy Spirit in my life. Almost like a light switch. I can almost turn my holiness "on" or "off."

I know this is wrong, and its hard for me to even admit this. But hey, we are all human, we are all fleshy, and although this doesn't make my sin right or justify it, at least I'm not alone right?

God know's my heart. I am truly hungry for Him, I desire his presence in my life and I am working to learn about Him. But when I get around people who are "fickle" and "unfocused" when it comes to their relationships with Christ, I become that way as well. This shouldn't be true about me, I DONT WANT THIS TO BE TRUE ABOUT ME!

I sit back at night in shame and guilt over some of the things I have said or done that could have been avoided by simply standing up to the people I am with. Its not like God is calling me to be an outcast or to be "sarah so sad" when I am around them, I can still have fun and I know it, I just need to learn what isn't fun in Gods eyes.

Some of my favorite memories and highlights of my life are when I got to enjoy true fellowship with my friends outside of "church" (blog on that later), totally spontaneous and natural conversations or worship with people I love. Why cant our daily relationships be honoring to God? I desire for my daily relationships to be focused on Christ and to honor Him.

The saddest part about this whole thing is that the people that I fall around, are mostly "believers" themselves. I'm not trying to deny their faith at all, or to question their morals. I'm just saying "IF I LOVE GOD, AND YOU LOVE GOD, AND HE IS HERE RIGHT NOW (HENCE THE HOLY SPIRIT) WHY DONT WE TALK ABOUT HIM?" I don't want to keep my walk with Christ a secret, because Im not ashamed of it. My relationships with my brothers and sisters in Christ should be filled with prayer and talks and service and coffee (dont all good christans love coffee?) not crude comments, slander, gossip, lies and filth.

I want more, I think we all do (the friends I have/company I keep) but no one wants to step it up .

It takes effort to turn from the flesh, its easy to stay cozy and comfortable, to satisfy your sin.

Because within my community of friends, its not that we are ashamed of Christ, its not that we "hide" the fact we are christians, its that we don't want to ask the tough questions, we don't want to take the time to commune with God, even though we already are, we are just communing with Him in a way that is disgusting to Him.

Im not asking for Christs "presence" in my relationships, because he is already there. Im asking for someone to want to Honor that presence with me.

I want people around me who wont be fickle and unfocused. I want people who will push me and challenge me.

I want/ need to be that for others.

my thoughts on mark 7:15

2010-06-21T23:57:00.000-07:00

at bible study today we talked about mark 7:15, it hit home for me, just something to think about.

"It’s not what you swallow that pollutes your life; it’s what you vomit—that’s the real pollution"

thoughts:

1. we can control what comes into and out of us.

2. you cant blame your actions on your past or current situations.

3. you can choose to pollute the lives of others.

4. i always thought it was garbage in garbage out, but it doesnt have to be that way, but this isnt a get out of jail free card when it come to taking in sin.

5. this more applies to relationships, not visual intake (tv• internet• movies etc)

A. you can hang out with sinners and not become one.

a. woman at the well.

6. not only is it OK to hang out with sinners its something we should practice

A. this is followed by the story of Jesus healing the womans daughter after she realizes that Jesus is here to not only "feed the children but also the dogs"

just my thoughts of the day.

oh and moms are right *proverbs 7 woman* elll ohhhh elll's

ty

2010-06-21T23:53:00.000-07:00

dear ty:

i started blogging again.

thanks for sushi.

-sarah

oh no.

2009-06-27T07:24:00.000-07:00

I locked the bathroom at Chris Evans' house... from the inside. I have no idea how.

I just know I can't open the door...

shoot.

busy

2009-06-18T06:40:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here at my kitchen table, coffee in hand praying that God can hold me still for the next couple of weeks, they will go fast.

I have weddings out the waz, some on the same date some dates after, I am house sitting and dog sitting, bloomington Il on saturday....(but thats after all the weddings..)

It is kinda hard not to dread all the busyness when you have my personality type, on my recent missions trip the team decided I am like a 50 year old woman trapped in a youthful body. hah

God is teaching me to enjoy life, to take advantage of the small moments, to jump for conversation to not have to look back and say what if. But this is extremely stretching for me, since I like to curl up on the couch and read or watch a movie, hah.

No t.v. since I got home, I am doing Good!!!

God Bless your days!

Sarah

the dominican republic

2009-06-16T18:31:00.000-07:00

I just got back from the Dominican Republic.

The Lord really blessed our trip, and I learned alot about myself in ten days.

My health was so awesome, I ran hard and exhausted myself every day but at night when I laid in my bed my heart would well up joy and I would smile looking toward the next day. I have so many stories and I keep trying to type them in a way that would make sense in paragraph form but I really can't so I will go one by one.

Meeting my sponsor child.

I got to hold the tiny worn hands of the child who colors me pictures and writes me letters. I saw her face to face and shared food with her. Although the language barrier was hard and the conversation was as strange as if it were an awkward first date, It brings tears to my eyes just thinking back to that moment.

Swimming in a damn.

One afternoon, in the middle of our work week, we were taken on a "surprise" trip to the at damn in the middle of the mountains. It was the most picture perfect, steal your breath moment as I paused before jumping head first into the water. I swam my heart out, floating on my back just soaking it all in. I shot up prayers between splashes and screams thanking God for his creativity.

Basketball and Rain.

I went with a few people from our team to a basketball game one afternoon, americans vrs. dominicans. I have a new respect for sports, they bring people together. It was so cool to see our guys come together and play. On the way back Joe drove the guys in the back of the pick up around in the rain for an extra 15 min just to see them suffer in the ice cold rain. it was priceless = )

Huleo and the Snake.

Even though I can't speak much spanish, I can draw pictures. So in the midst of a day of arts and crafts, I bonded with Huleo a 9 year old kid who laughed with me as I drew pictures of him in different situations (being swallowed by a giant snake, on a boat, being squished by giant stinky feet etc.). It was so great to finally be able to bridge language problems using a gift God had given me. *side note* my art skills were discovered along with my sharpie and I was deemed the missions tattoo artist, giving almost everyone some fresh ink. which many students decided to get them henna tattooed on later that week.

Doing dishes.

I love doing dishes at home, so it's no news to anyone that I really enjoyed this part of the trip. I love to soak and scrub and chat about life, it's so much easier to get people to talk to you when their hands are busy, thats why I love kitchens so much. I will never forget my dish time. It makes me smile just thinking about it.

Sorting Clothes.

On our last night at the guest house, I sat on the floor in a huge pile of donated shirts and I sorted them by size and color. You may not think that was mind blowing and my sponsors may be asking why they even helped me go, but I want to say it was powerful to pray over those shirts as I folded. To know I was apart of something that would clothe a naked back was fantastic. It was also hilarious to talk about how I was apparently so much different than the other girls on the trip and hear kayla choose between shoes she was sorting. *side note* womens ministry collected and donated over 500 pair of shoes for the Dominican people.

Ah, this was just such a wonderful trip. I truly adore missions, they will get the best of you every time. I wish I could turn right around and go back to the guest house, and I would too, if Joe and Shannon would have me (they were such great hosts, and great people).

It has been hard to adjust back to my life in the states. No little hands to hold, dishwashers (stink), Air conditioning (I am freezing and I hate it, but it is a blessing), water I can drink out of the faucet, toilet paper IN the toilets, taco bell instead of real rice and beans (which Joe would say is better, hah), english (I still say see and gracias at least 1,000 times a day), starbucks is baccckkk hah.

I am sure I will be blogging about this for days to come.

It was a powerful trip and I was changed for the better!

Blessings,

Sarah

mac buddiiiess

2009-06-04T19:49:00.001-07:00

haha.... nick and chelsea!!! are my apple buddiesss!

prayers!

2009-06-04T19:39:00.000-07:00

I am getting ready to head off on to the missions field for the next ten days!!

I will be home soon!

Prayers are coveted!

Pray for:

safe travel

health for myself and my team

changed lives

my sponsor child syorjani

safety!!

HEALTH hah this is a major one since I was sick the whole trip two years ago!

Thank you guys so much!!

Blessings,

sarah

my thoughts on loving my dog

2009-05-25T20:13:00.001-07:00

the end

my thoughts on jon and kate

2009-05-25T20:01:00.001-07:00

the end

My Life In The Middle Of Nowhere

2009-05-14T08:28:00.000-07:00

I love where I live, I took some photos the other night on a forwheel ride, enjoy! (click to enlarge)

tractors
fence

my bloody leg, after being attacked by a thorn bush

breathtaking

sunset

violet carpet.

violet

one of my favorite places in the world

clover fields

Hummus!!

2009-05-14T07:39:00.000-07:00

HUMMUS!!

I recently aquired the worlds best hummus recipe from my friend kat!

It is as follows, In red is the ammount if you would like to cut it in half :

32 oz. chick peas [garbanzo beans], drained and rinsed (15oz. can)
1/3 cup tahini [sesame paste] (2 tsp+2 tbs.)
½ teaspoon garlic powder (1/4 tsp)
½ teaspoon powdered citric acid (1/4 tsp or 1 tablet vitamin c)
¾ teaspoon sea salt (1/2 teaspoon + 1/4 teaspoon)
about ½ cup water (1/4 cup, or more)
Place chick peas in food processor and process. Then add remaining ingredients and process until hummus reaches smooth consistency. I add water as needed until it reaches desired consistency. Serve with blue chips or pita wedges. [if using smaller quantity of chick peas such as two 15 oz. cans, use slightly less garlic, citric acid, and salt]

Enjoy this, it is a great summer treat!

white horse

2009-05-11T15:57:00.000-07:00

I am watching tv while I type my paper.
bad idea.
Taylor swift's White Horse video is on CMT.
It makes me feel good. better.
let me rewind.
I had a bad day.
really bad day.
I found things out.
not life crushing things.
Just altering.
I had a praoblem last year, I had conflict, I thought I let the conflict go, I thought I was ok, I thought I had heald, but as women, we carry, we remember.
I had feelings come back today that brought back pain, it hurt.
Girls are mean. We live in a fallen world.
back to taylor swift.
I remembered her saying, no one liked her, and she felt bad, she cried alot beacsue girls are mean.
All I have to say is, so what, I live, I learn, I moved on.
My brother held my hand and made me feel better, God bless him.

TOMS SHOES

2009-05-10T18:31:00.000-07:00

I have been a toms advocate for about two years now, I love my toms, the are THE best shoes I have ever owned I wear them for everything!

I encorage EVERYONE to get a pair, I can not even say how good it feels to know you are placing shoes on a childs feet.

I hope to represnt TOMS at my future college this fall.

They look good with EVERYTHING I own.

Get toms...like now. ha

Final Exams and Finding Rest in the Lord

2009-05-07T10:19:00.000-07:00

My parents always told me that the best way to learn somthing is to teach it to others.
I need to grasp the concept of resting and finding hope in The Lord through final exams, so I thought that I would attemt to share my thoughts on this subject to encorage myself and hopefully others!

At this momment I am extremely tired and physically weak, I have just began to recover from a nasty cold bug and I have not been blessed with ample ammounts of sleep for the past few days.
Needless to say I am to the point where I can not find comfort in anything, not food, no clothing feels comfortable, my skin feels tight and itchy, my eyes can not focus and nothing seems to help. I continue to push myself academically (I have to now because unfortunatly, I faild to do so in previos weeks), studying, writing and calculating . I can only let out a collective sigh and say...."ehghhhghghhhhhhhh...at least it is almost over!"
John 14:1 says "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." (said by Jesus to his deciples)

Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

I desire for the Lord to be my rest in this trying time.

If I will only take the time to pray to the Lord, worship Him and read His word, I will be able to make it through my final exams and you will too!!

2009-05-05T09:13:00.000-07:00

Real Hope

2009-04-26T14:45:00.000-07:00

Recently at a concert I saw a man with a JESUS HOPE shirt, it looks alot like the Obama hope shirt, but it has a much more powerfull message.

Today in chuch a guest speaker was talking about HOPE, and told us "Hope does not come from the oval office, no matter who is sitting behind the desk." This is a very great message that needs to be spread, among all, believers and nonbelievers alike. There is no hope in fallen man. I hold strong republican, conserivitve political views, so even if a strong republican conservitive were in office, I should still not place my hope in a mere man.

Just something to think about.
Have a blessed Sunday!!

Sarah

frustrated.

2009-04-25T20:34:00.000-07:00

I rarely complain on my blog, but right now, I just need to.

I feel extremely frustrated at the moment, I can not even think straight.
I found out that I may not be able to go to school this fall because as a homeschool student I never took the ACT or SAT and since they are given univarsaly on the same date, I will miss the ACT because I will be on a missions trip, and it is too late for me to take the SAT (deadline passed). So, I am frustrated and unsure about something I was frustrated and unsure about to begin with (make sense???).

Horrible thing number two.

I was out with my dad on our fourwheelers and my very nice, very new venus voyager slipped out of my back pocket and is nowhere to be found...and it is going to rain tonight. I feel miserable, I prayed and prayed and still no phone, I just really want it back. I know it is just a material posession, but I was extremely attatched to it, it was my favorite phone I have ever had. ahhhh, I could kick myself. Now all I have recieved from my dad is tough love, I just want my phone back.

Ahhhh, well, now I just want to go to bed and not wakeup for a really long time, or untill I have my phone back...

I kissed social networking goodbye.

2009-04-21T19:28:00.000-07:00

As a student at a community college I am fully aware of the grip social networking has on our society. I had a both a facebook and a myspace since they became popular, but recently the Lord spoke to me about trading them in for something better. I kissed social networking goodbye.

Social networking is not a sin, in fact being social is something that humans do best, God created it this way, Genesis 2:18a says "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone..." As we know the Lord went on to create Eve for Adam, but He says that humans need to be relational. Facebook provides relationships, but not the best kind. in fact my relations have been hurt through social networking more than helped. In the past I have been slandered, offended, misunderstood, rejected, and gossiped about , it is a breading ground for relational hurt. Not only have I hurt, I have also hurt others in that same way. Temptation is also great on myspace or facebook.

Temptations I faced on facebook were gossip, vanity, pride, jealousy, boasting in myself, idleness, slander and the list goes on. To be fair, we are all faced with temptation every day, even if have no social networking habits or even a computer. My point is, why put unnecessary temptation in front of yourself? It was consuming time that I desperately needed to spend on other things. It was just not necessary for me. I found myself on facebook habitually. Although I didn't struggle in giving up my facebook, to this day (I do not have a facebook anymore) I begin to type www.fa....... before I catch myself and realize, "oh, you don't have a facebook."

Since giving up my social networking sites I have used my computer far less, I have increased my time with the Lord, I have lived out of the social loop (less drama, less outings, more time with my family and true friends), I have lived in more freedom (less vain thoughts, less social obligations, more free time, less peer pressure), and I have used my computer time to read Godly blogs, research for school, biblical research and mind games (text twist...ohhh, that is becoming an addiction, haha). I am so happy I got rid of my facebook and I encourage others to do the same.

People have asked me why (and when they do they sound shocked, hurt and confused), they have slandered me for it (it is just a web page), and questioned my sanity, but I do not mind. I know the Lord is pleased with my decision.

I do not say this to bring others down or build myself up in anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts on social networking in a Godly perspective. If you can examine your reasons for using a social networking site and say that they are all pure, Noble, and right, then by all means continue on. But if you are like me in anyway, and you can find fault in one area of reasoning, then try giving it up. (one nice/bad thing about facebook is that you never delete your profile, you just deactivate it, so that if you decide you want it back you just log on, which if you struggle with getting on, have someone else change your password and keep it hidden from you).

God Bless,
Sarah

Bunnies and Babies

2009-04-10T20:25:00.000-07:00

Bunny Buddies!

I have a great job. Bread smells, family-like co-workers, hardwood floors, sunshine on rainy days, free coffee and tea, who could complain? I could. Let me explain, I worked on the table today, baking bread for hours and hours, and my feet are killing me, my arms are like jello and my eyes are seeing bunnies. It is easter so it is bunny time, we make the above bunnies (12$) at work (get one for your easter celebration, if there is one near you).

After work, I volenteered at church to hold babies. Never fail, I get the fussy one (who is fine until you want to sit) so my legs now hurt even worse from bouncing, walking, rocking and lulling. But finaly my babe went to sleep (praise God).

I am still awaiting my easter dress, so pray hard!! hah

God Bless,

Sarah